everyone needs a why. we need a why for whatever task, job, or dream we want to take on. it’s true for me when it comes to this blog. I want a ‘why’. the ‘why’ is what keeps us motived, gives us direction, and engages an audience. it’s what gives us structure and reason. I’m not sure if I’ve ever really stated my ‘why’… well I have but it’s always been very broad. maybe it’s because I didn’t have a specific why, or maybe it’s because sharing our ‘why’ is a level of vulnerability I’m scared of. not that it’s oversharing or intrusive, but being vulnerable on any level is scary. writing this posts for strangers and even family and friends to read… is scary. I don’t know what people are going to think of them, what their take will be - it’s all so scary. this is perhaps why my posting is often very scarce.
when things are going good, I’m happy and full of life - it’s easy to share. people like happy posts. when I’m down, at my lows - it’s scary to post. first, I don’t have motivation or will-power to post, and secondly, I don’t want to come off sad all the time. not that I am sad all the time, just that I don’t want to share those hard times and moments. I also am an over thinker, over achiever, and kind of a perfectionist. I dwell on what I’m going to say. I write and rewrite until I think it’s perfect. I want a ‘motivational’ message. I want it to be encouraging to others, I want people to be wow-ed by what I say. often I don’t write and post because I don’t feel influence-y enough. which is crazy because - I am not an influencer or even a wise person. I’m just a basic girl, living a basic life. there’s nothing exceptional about me or my life.
but I need a why, now. I want a why. a specific, measurable why. one that I can always fall back on. one that I can read and be inspired or even encouraged to write and post. I’ve stated before that this blog is like an online journal for myself. it’s a place where I can hold myself accountable for my goals, habits, and so forth. but I need something more. all those are good and all play an important role in my why but they’re (obviously) aren’t enough. and so - here’s my why.
I want to regain control of my health - physically and mentally - and balance my hormones - this is my journey and accountability partner.
I want to do this in the most holistic and natural way possible. this is by using physical activity/exercise, cycle syncing, and the food I eat. I’ve done things like this before - in fact, I think my whole adult life has been cultivating food to nourish my body. however, this has always been a ‘what makes me feel good’ vs ‘what makes me feel bad’. I’ve never done too much research or objective journaling. I’ve always been big on eating well - focused on whole foods and whole ingredients, I don’t like eating out and I don’t like fast food - so this isn’t a whole new world for me. it’s just a more substantial and researched journey. it’s more looking at what others with PCOS and imbalanced hormones have done and taking what I can learn from them. this doesn’t mean I follow one person religiously - every body is different and what’s worked amazingly for one person doesn’t mean it’ll work for me. nevertheless, others’ journeys, research, and data can definitely help and assist me.
that’s why I’m doing this. I’m doing my own research - trial and error - with myself as my test subject. I’ll see what works and what doesn’t by documenting what I am doing and eating daily. I hope you find some comfort and entertainment along the way with me. it won’t be all science report-y, it’ll be more colorful and casual than that. so, let’s go!! I’m excited to see what happens.
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